Hi all,

Yesterday afternoon, I received a call that makes me very very sad. Rushed to the hospital and stayed there till past midnight. The doctor says that he might not pull through tonight. So, though we all went home, I checked my phone almost every hour for fear of call informing us of bad news.

Doctor was very clear about the situation; absolutely no hope. Will not be able to live pass three days. When I finally went in to see him, his face was swollen and he was twitiching and shivering in pain. Very heartbroken.

When I looked at him, memories all rushed back. Though keep telling myself that this is part and parcel of life, still, I can't help feeling real sad.

I can't imagine whether I can take it if this happens to my Nanny next time. Think, I will fall apart.

Don't think anyone can understand the bonding between my nanny's family and myself. They were the ones who were with me when I needed help. No matter what time, what happen, they will drop everything they are doing be with me in an instant. They gave me a shoulder, a shelter and a pair of loving hands. Without them, there will be no me. Typing here, I am feeling my tears rolling down. Think, I better stop the post.

Now needing a shoulder to cry on again.

Got to handle the funeral stuff already. Need to arrange with the Casket.